I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
