I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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