God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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