so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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