it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
