I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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