I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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