bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
