Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
