Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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