i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
