she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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