Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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