I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
