Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize