Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
