Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
