So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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