he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
