I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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