By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
