I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
