I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
All I want is dick and wine.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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