so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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