shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Tell her she can't have a vagina
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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