Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
