What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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