i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
