Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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