We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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