its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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