You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
