I forgot how hot balto sounded
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dear god my vagina.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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