Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
