If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
