Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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