Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
