mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A+ Viking dick
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize