i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
