Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
