Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
