i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
