I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize