Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
