Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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