giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
