not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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