I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
