it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
