I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Your penis caused this!
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