Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
