but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
