I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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