if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
