I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
