I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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