so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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