my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
