I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
