they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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