I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
